Whats wrong with me?

All the disorders that you probably had in the past could've contributed to this new anxiety. I empathize from this type of stuff first hand , and there can always be disturbing thoughts/images that could potentially be addressed with self help. When there is not one problem going on, or it seems seems that it might've went away, unfortunately, another one will always instantly take its place. Sometimes there are some other medical conditions that might be a culprit of the physical anxiety symptoms, and if they continue to get bothersome, you should consider taking it up with your regular doctor to rule out any other possible illnesses. It would at least provide the comfort to reure you that you are supposedly in good physical conditions and all the problems stem from some kinda psych illness. Btw, the downside of anti anxiety medications is that they are only meant for short term usage and can become dependable and/or ineffective after you developed a tolerance for it. Anyway, I guess its your decisions to really decide to go with the shrink when all else fails and its inevitable. Good Luck